i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
