i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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