Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
