Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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