I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
