Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
