Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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