Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
