3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I want her autograph on my taint
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Damn victory sex feels great
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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