Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
