I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
