before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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