Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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