At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
