Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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