Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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