p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌