One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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