the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house