Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex