Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha