i can't believe i had my finger in that
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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