I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
