Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
