She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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