I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize