Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
17 year olds will be the death of me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
