is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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