There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize