stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
