LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
