i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
