I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
