i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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