Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
