were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
