last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
