your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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