Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize