Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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