I'm jealous of your bromance
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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