after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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