If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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