Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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