just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize