just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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