We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
