I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
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we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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