Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
