On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
