In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
