so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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