He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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