Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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