Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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