he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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