some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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