Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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