so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize