Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
