I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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