You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
