But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
