did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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