i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
