The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i think im in europe. pls send help
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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