Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize