Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
